They call it the quarter life crisis for a reason. If you are 20 something and asking yourself what am I doing? Am I doing it right? No longer fear, you aren’t alone.
With myself turning 27 recently, I felt my world shake. Not because I feel old and I feel ashamed. I just asked myself what does that mean?
I am the kinda girl of who got straight A’s my whole life, was a student leader, graduated top of my college class, landed an amazing career and in general stayed on the upward track of “ society standards”. I would say I am the girl who followed the unwritten rule book. But once it is settled and you can stand on two feet proud, you can feel lost. " What is next? "Am I doing this right?" You compare yourself to your peers and then realize everyone is doing it different. Some are buying homes, on to their 2nd child, going back to school, leaving their 9-5 to travel the world, moving to new cities, etc.
I pulled back from my crazy hustling nonstop days and moved my time to turning inward. I started heavily practicing meditation and yoga. Promising myself to go to a class 1x a week at least.
Some personal tips I found in my recent soul searching 2 month spur:
1. Asking yourself “What am I doing? “is OK!
It is actually healthy and smart you are concerned about your future.
2. There is no perfect timeline. You can look at anyone and something conflicts their carved path.
Recently I had a gf carve her fairy tale timeline to becoming a mother. She focused on finding the one; land the ultimate father figure/ husband, had the most beautiful traditional style wedding, studied every baby book, even prepared a nursery room and now is suddenly finding herself with some unfortunate health complications. Now she is emotionally questioning if it is her time to be a mother. She now feels a drive to do something else and is now asking herself if she should go back to school.
3. Just because you are with someone doesn’t mean they are the one because they fit your personal goals or society’s timeline. Analyze them as a person, are they your actual best friend? Just because you are 29 and had this inner promise that you would be engaged by 30 doesn't mean you should look at your current boyfriend as the one.
4. Surround yourself with open minded people that don’t judge or confuse your path. I have friends from all different walks. I cut out any narrow minded peers, that believe their path is the only right path.
5. Don’t turn to social media for goals. (I know harder said than done.) Social media glorifies our lives, forgetting that’s it’s way more than just babies being born, engagements, job promotions. We all know life isn’t all dandy.
6. Turn inward. Remember you have to be happy with yourself, because everything and anything can be gone tomorrow. Whether it’s a loved one, your job, your home etc. The relationship with oneself is the most important relationship.
7. Practice both physical and mental health. If you are still eating junk food, change your ways. Yes of course indulge on occasion, but what you put into your body physically controls your emotions. Foods high in trans fat and sugar affect emotional clarity.
Simply said “Eating like sh*t, makes you feel like sh*t”
8. Always be evolving. You can’t learn about yourself by being paralyzed out of fear and confusion. Last year I promised myself I would learn tennis. 20 tennis lessons later, I like it! This year I am taking Spanish classes on Thursday nights, on my 5th class . Also taking a surfing camp with my best friend the end of February. Whatever it is. Don’t stop learning and exploring.
9. Boyfriend, friend, friend of a friend if they belittle or hold you back— get rid of them. Our worse enemies in life can be next to us. Be selfish and selective who is in your circle. Be around only those who applaud your successes.
10. Take risks and test out business ventures. Don’t live in “shoulda coulda” world. Personally I looked into building my own sports bra line... I even got as far as building sketches, specs and samples. It’s not my time to take on the project, but it felt good to explore. I thoroughly now know the pros & cons
11. Take coffee with people who inspire you.
Sometimes I find myself at a group dinner and I connect with a complete stranger who just truly inspires me. Maybe it’s their energy or maybe it’s their career. Don’t hesitate to open yourself up.
12. Smile, Every single day.
Because it’s simple— No one knows in the end if they are doing it right.